For most men, answering that question is more challenging than asking them how to win a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. Women typically want more intimacy in their relationships, but the problem is that most men do not know what that means. As you can imagine, this is an issue.
If most women say they want more intimacy, we need to know what it is? Out of curiosity, I decided to look in the dictionary. It said things like:
- Close familiarity or friendship: closeness
- Involving very close connection
- Private and personal
- Closely acquainted, familiar, close
Another common misconception is that most men think intimacy just relates to having sex, but do you notice how nothing in that list specifically relates to sex? In modern times, people often use the word intimacy to mean a sexual relations (i.e. I was intimate with her), but intimacy does not necessarily have to be sexual. If you ask a woman about intimacy, you will realize that it is so much more.
So, what is intimacy and how can I have more? Good question!
It took me about a week and a half to finish reading Eckhart Tolle’s popular book, titled “The Power of Now” for my 8 Week Book Reading Challenge. I was sure to spend extra time re-reading certain concepts and principles so that I could have a better understanding of his materials.
While difficult to read and comprehend at times, The Power of Now is without a doubt a remarkable book.
I kept hearing more and more about it through friends and other members of the “community“, so I decided to check it out. And, interestingly enough, Eckhart Tolle happens to live in the Kitsilano area in Vancouver (where I live).
The book is written in a cool FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) fashion. Because spiritual enlightenment can be difficult to understand, he focuses on answering questions from others throughout the book. I found this very useful and it helped me have a clearer understanding of his ideas.
The primary principle in the book revolves around the concept of “being fully present.” Or, in other words, “living in the NOW.”
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Whereas before you dwelt in time and paid brief visits to the Now, have your dwelling place in the Now and pay brief visits to past and future when required to deal with the practical aspects of your life situation. Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
Eckhart talks about how people are constantly thinking compulsively throughout their day-to-day lives. This is what I usually refer to as “stuck inside your head” or in a completely “logical” state of mind.
They’re either thinking about the PAST or the FUTURE, rather than embracing the moment fully for what it is.
In relation to approaching and meeting women, the secret to receiving positive responses and generating high levels of attraction revolve around your emotional state”, or as Eckhart says “being in the moment.”
And, ironically enough, conditioning guys to think less and be more and more “in the moment” is the one thing that is stopping the typical guys I coach from massive success with women and dating. It’s usually because they’ve been CONDITIONED their entire lives to be compulsive thinkers and analytical, and their lifestyles reflect that — for example, sitting at home avoiding parties and social activities to be on the computer.
The purpose of the Lifestyle Transformations Forum is to create a fun, positive, and supportive environment for those on their journey of self-improvement and success.
There is also a PRIVATE FORUM, which is exclusive only for students and clients of Lifestyle Transformations. You must attend a program or receive coaching from us for full access.
However, the PUBLIC FORUM is still a great place to discuss and share ideas, concepts, stories, challenges, questions, etc… or to meet others within your area.
Interacting with and meeting others (online or in person) is the best way to rapidly accelerate your learning curve.
In my last post I told you to quit. I expect that if you haven’t, you went through the three questions and realized in your case you need to do the opposite of quitting – REDEDICATION.
This is an elaborate ritual that involves forgetting the pities of the past, revitalizing your dreams, and coming up with an invigorated gameplan that you can work day in day out. And it has to begin RIGHT NOW.
If you’re wondering whether its possible to begin later – maybe tomorrow –instead, stop and answer me this: Would you put off breathing or eating until tomorrow? This is YOUR LIFE we’re talking about, and WHO YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME. How dare you put that off for one more day? You’re astonishing and can’t afford to squander.
No, this isn’t a joke, nor is it a fiendish application of reverse psychology. Instead it is some advice that has the potential to transform your life.
You’ve been on this path to becoming a better man, becoming better with women, and you don’t have the results. Who is to say you ever will? Who is to say you’re going to break through your plateau? If you just kept with it and persevered it’s going to happen. Right? WRONG. That’s playing it safe. After all, you’ve invested so much in this area - time, money, effort. And while I respect that, let me also hit you with some truth: Not only don’t you have the guts to quit, but you’re sucking it up and TRYING TO AVERAGE your way to success - what a waste of your days!
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