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You may have seen them – those rare men that are excelling at a rapid pace – and you may be wondering what their secret is. I don’t know, and frankly I don’t care. What I do care is that YOU are excelling at a rapid pace. And I’m going to share with you one of the most powerful mindsets to do that, starting TODAY.
Take a moment and think of the last time you were out being social and meeting people. Now if I was to ask you to tell me with complete honesty and integrity what level you were playing at on a scale of 1-10, would you say 100? In fact, when was the last time you played at a 100? Or worse, have you never played at a 100??
If you want to get good fast you have to push your boundaries every time you go out. Whether its rolling into a group of 9 guys and 1 cute girl, or chasing her down for 6 blocks to make her day, or deciding to get your second and third and fourth wind when things aren’t going your way.
As you’re answering this you may wonder how this translates into results. Your mind has already begun rationalizing that it’s not worth it. What’s the point, after all, you can go and approach this other girl that’s standing there by herself. Easier? Yes, and in the short-term it may seem like the better way to go. But you will deny yourself the most amazing growth and long-term results if that remains your philosophy. This whole thing isn’t about instant results, it’s about what kind of a man you become.
For most men, answering that question is more challenging than asking them how to win a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. Women typically want more intimacy in their relationships, but the problem is that most men do not know what that means. As you can imagine, this is an issue.
If most women say they want more intimacy, we need to know what it is? Out of curiosity, I decided to look in the dictionary. It said things like:
- Close familiarity or friendship: closeness
- Involving very close connection
- Private and personal
- Closely acquainted, familiar, close
Another common misconception is that most men think intimacy just relates to having sex, but do you notice how nothing in that list specifically relates to sex? In modern times, people often use the word intimacy to mean a sexual relations (i.e. I was intimate with her), but intimacy does not necessarily have to be sexual. If you ask a woman about intimacy, you will realize that it is so much more.
So, what is intimacy and how can I have more? Good question!
In my last post I told you to quit. I expect that if you haven’t, you went through the three questions and realized in your case you need to do the opposite of quitting – REDEDICATION.
This is an elaborate ritual that involves forgetting the pities of the past, revitalizing your dreams, and coming up with an invigorated gameplan that you can work day in day out. And it has to begin RIGHT NOW.
If you’re wondering whether its possible to begin later – maybe tomorrow –instead, stop and answer me this: Would you put off breathing or eating until tomorrow? This is YOUR LIFE we’re talking about, and WHO YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME. How dare you put that off for one more day? You’re astonishing and can’t afford to squander.
No, this isn’t a joke, nor is it a fiendish application of reverse psychology. Instead it is some advice that has the potential to transform your life.
You’ve been on this path to becoming a better man, becoming better with women, and you don’t have the results. Who is to say you ever will? Who is to say you’re going to break through your plateau? If you just kept with it and persevered it’s going to happen. Right? WRONG. That’s playing it safe. After all, you’ve invested so much in this area - time, money, effort. And while I respect that, let me also hit you with some truth: Not only don’t you have the guts to quit, but you’re sucking it up and TRYING TO AVERAGE your way to success - what a waste of your days!
Normally, I’m not one to give people “rules.” Everyone is different and you must be true to yourself, but in this case, I’m going to give you a “rule” that I want you to follow (don’t worry, it’s a simple one though). I’ve spent a great deal of time figuring this out and I wish someone would have told me about it instead of me having to figure it out for myself. That’s what I’m going to do for you today!
There’s an important concept I’m going to share with you guys today.
It’s essentially the most important principle that we teach and live by at Lifestyle Transformations.
It’s the notion of OFFERING VALUE.
Let me explain…
Most guys, when they choose to meet or interact with someone, especially a cute girl - they’re trying to TAKE VALUE from them.
What this means is that they usually have an AGENDA - they want something from them. Everything they do or say is to meet that outcome - complimenting a girl, buying a girl drinks, saying or doing things to brag or impress, over qualifying theirselves, putting up a front or a persona, being inauthentic or disgenuine, or trying to validate themselves by getting others to fill a void or emptiness inside of them. This is TAKING VALUE.
Doing things like complimenting a girl isn’t BAD… only when you’re doing it to reach a specific outcome.
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