Lifestyle Transformations Blog

Last Wednesday, I did a quick coaching session with a journalist from the Georgia Straight, who is going to be writing an article on the dating companies in Vancouver.  The article will be released in the Georgia Straight on Thursday. 

Here is a quick excerpt from an article he wrote on his blog (not the Georgia Straight article):

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Shawn-you’re a great guy, you’ve got an interesting job, a car, your own place, you’ve got your shit together (more or less), you’re moderately good-looking, you’ve been known to tell a decent joke or let off a decent witty remark on occasion, you’re social, and you can play ‘Tangled Up in Blue’ on guitar. How could you possibly need more success with women???”

Good question. But the truth is, I’ve had few dates in the year since my last breakup. It seems like the minute I express interest in someone, it backfires; or, worse, I get put in “the friend zone”. And if I see a girl I’m attracted to, I immediately start thinking of reasons not to talk to approach her. Usually, I’m pretty convincing.

I came face to face with this just last Tuesday, when I went to a downtown mall with Stefan. An attraction/dating coach with Lifestyle Transformations (http://www.lifestyletransformations.com), a new company, Stefan’s mission was to help me overcome “approach anxiety.” Considering it had snowed earlier in the day and the mall was practically deserted, we had our work cut out for us. But my coach wasted no time walking up to a young woman and saying “Hi.” He followed up with, “This might sound strange, but I just wanted to say you look really good.” She seemed pleased and he chatted with her for a few moments before disengaging. According to Stefan, he’s done this sort of thing hundreds of times, and it showed in the ease of his body language. After a few more approaches, all of which went a similarly pleasant way, he told me, “Now it’s your turn.” I immediately tensed up. The idea of just walking up to an unfamiliar, attractive woman, and saying something-while stone cold sober, remember-is, to put it mildly, not exactly in my comfort zone.

But I did it-and each of the three times, the response was more or less friendly and positive. No one told me to go away or threatened to called security. Of course, the idea is to keep at this-that is, approaching women, saying “hi”, engaging in a brief conversation “offering value” with no concern for the outcome.

For the full blog article titled “Attraction Coach Face-off” by Shawn Conner, click here.

Be sure to check out the Georgia Straight on Thursday for the REAL article.

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