Hey, I haven’t updated here in a while. The entire Lifestyle Transformations crew has been super busy with a billion other things going on. But, don’t worry — we haven’t forgot our loyal readers!
I want to quickly talk about a topic that is super common amongst guys that go out to meet people and socialize.
We just recently finished a kick ass 3-day immersion Transformations Bootcamp weekend and the result was incredible. It was a total transformation for each individual that attended. It really is remarkable to witness this stuff and to be responsible for creating such a radical change in someones life.
Anyway, one of the most common sticking points that guys face is getting too logical and stuck inside their heads.
It’s that compulsive thinking that prevents you from flowing and being completely spontaneous, in the moment.
People are too busy getting caught up inside their heads — THINKING.
When it comes to meeting and interacting with people, let me tell you, THINKING doesn’t serve you in any way. There’s nothing to think about! There’s really no need to access that logical part of your brain. Everything you do should be based off of EMOTION.
Think about this. Why do people do the crazy things that they do when they’re out?
You know, when you go to a nightclub or are out, you always spot crazy people hollering funny things or laughing hysterically or being silly and goofy. Do you think that these people think about these things before they do it?
NO. They’re completely in the moment.
Being in the moment, however, can lead to some unhealthy things as well — such as getting into fights, getting into trouble or perhaps doing things that you regret. There is some logic that is involved with those kind of things. But, for the most part, the only reason why those things occur is due to being in an EMOTIONAL state of mind.
People are too caught up being self-conscious and worrying too much.
“How do I look? What am I going to say to that girl over there? Nah… she wouldn’t like me. What if she rejects me? This and that… blah blah blah BLAH!”
Forget all that stuff. The moment you think that stuff and get caught in that trap, you’re FUCKED. I’d recommend doing something crazy to get yourself out of it ASAP.
Just last night I was actually out with an incredible, intelligent and extremely beautiful girl. We were walking to a restaurant together and had a great conversation about social dynamics and meeting people.
To my surprise, she was telling me how at times she would get stuck inside her head and self-conscious when she was out. Except, of course, for women their compulsive thinking is different. Instead of thinking “What if that girl rejects me?” or “What am I going to say?”, they think thoughts like “Why aren’t any guys approaching me? Why are my friends getting approached more than I am? How do I look? I shouldn’t have worn these shoes… or I shouldve worn this instead.”
The girl that I heard saying this is absolutely gorgeous and also works as a server at a popular restaurant here in Vancouver, who has a ton of guys hit on and approach her. But, even HER, and many other women experience the same thing when they’re out.
What’s their solution? Usually alcohol or drugs. Why? Because it gets them more and more in the moment.
What’s a better solution? Learn how to evoke your inner state and have FUN in any situation at any time, instead of depending on anything external as a form of stimulation. Create that internally.
There’s a ton of ways of doing this, which I don’t have time to get into today. But, for the most part, it’s a process that takes time as you CONDITION yourself to be this way consistently.
Just keep going out there and practice having fun where ever you go, and you will be well on your way.
Stefan
Executive Coach
Lifestyle Transformations
PS - Have I told you guys about the Ultimate Transformation 2008 SuperConference going on in Vancouver in September? I have 10 world-class speakers confirmed that will be presenting on virtually every area of life: Meeting Women, Dating, Relationships, Tantra & Sex, Business, Career, Health & Wellness, Fitness, Spirituality, etc… Go to http://www.ultimatetransformation.com to check it out. Currently there is a EARLY BIRD SPECIAL going on.
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Great post. You can be amazing at meeting women and if you don’t have this handled it doesn’t matter.