There’s an important concept I’m going to share with you guys today.
It’s essentially the most important principle that we teach and live by at Lifestyle Transformations.
It’s the notion of OFFERING VALUE.
Let me explain…
Most guys, when they choose to meet or interact with someone, especially a cute girl - they’re trying to TAKE VALUE from them.
What this means is that they usually have an AGENDA - they want something from them. Everything they do or say is to meet that outcome - complimenting a girl, buying a girl drinks, saying or doing things to brag or impress, over qualifying theirselves, putting up a front or a persona, being inauthentic or disgenuine, or trying to validate themselves by getting others to fill a void or emptiness inside of them. This is TAKING VALUE.
Doing things like complimenting a girl isn’t BAD… only when you’re doing it to reach a specific outcome.
And if you haven’t figured out by now… taking value is REPELLING. It’s HORRID. Others can sense it when they interact with you and are unresponsive and will run away.
On the flip side, the position you want to come from is to OFFER VALUE.
This means that you don’t have an “agenda” or specific outcome to take anything from her, but rather the only outcome you have is to make the other person feel AMAZING - without wanting or expecting something in return.
For example, when I approach or compliment a girl, it isn’t to get her phone number, or to sleep with her, or to make her my girlfriend. I don’t think about any of that stuff.
Rather, it’s more to give her an experience that she will never forget. It’s to sweep her off her feet, away from her mundane existence, and into a whirlwind of rich and positive emotions.
And when you can provide this kind of experience for someone, it’s powerful. They will WANT to interact with you, they will want to give you their phone number, and they will want to spend time with you and be around you.
It’s about internalizing the belief inside of yourself that you DO have value to offer and can provide these experiences for someone. If you can’t think of anything, then ask yourself… “what value can I offer those I interact with?”
And even if someone responds negatively to you, or is unresponsive, or whatever the outcome is… at least you can look yourself in the mirror and feel GOOD about yourself, because you KNOW that your intent was out of positivity and love and to offer good emotions.
When you can internalize this, your relationships will never be the same again…
This idea is what influenced the creation of Lifestyle Transformations. The concept of OFFERING VALUE is the purpose of this blog, of our website, of our programs, and of our lives.
It’s because when we coach a student or help someone to become more authentic, honest and to OFFER VALUE - we’re doing a service to the world and to humanity. Because when THEY interact with someone, they’re spreading and contributing value as well.
Ultimately, we’re making the world a better place.
Stefan
Executive Coach
Lifestyle Transformations
Popularity: 17% [?]
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Great post!! This is one of the most important things a person can learn about their interactions with others. As a matter of fact, everyone should go back and read it again!
Jason
Amazing post! Also, you just OFFERED VALUE while you we’re talking about offering value =)
glad to hear you blogging about this stuff because i think that offering value is probably the key to making friends, running a business, and building healthy relationships.