Lifestyle Transformations Blog

You’ve made it - she’s in your life. You have an amazing time together and a good connection. What’s next?

Do you drop your daily rituals and activities to spend more time with her?
Do you reduce or even stop hanging out with your friends?
Do you make her the focal point of your life?

If you were anything like what I used to be, the answers to any and all the above would be yes. And on the surface, it looks like a great proposition. You get to see, smell, and touch her every day. Every free moment is spent with a girl you adore. She makes you happy.

As you peel the layers, however, you discover some new beliefs that are growing in your mind: “Only she can make me happy.” “I need her to be fulfilled.” “If she leaves my life, I have nothing.” And guess what? You give these beliefs enough time, they’ll begin to manifest in every aspect of your relationship eventually leading to the demise of the relationship you tried so hard to maintain.

“But I put in everything I had.” - “I gave her my all.”  - That’s not what women want!!!!

They want a man that’s in touch with his path and course in life. A man who seeks to continuously improve all aspects of his life. A man who has more to give, share, offer to the world and to her by continuing to do the things that helped mold him into the person he is today.

That man will NEVER stop living HIS LIFE for he knows the secret that escapes many: The minute he decides to stop doing those rituals and activities is the minute he has decides to shrink. While he may be spending more and more time with his girl, he’ll have less and less to give until there’s nothing left to offer her. He won’t have the people around him constantly holding him to a higher standard. He won’t be following through on the rituals that would give him health, vitality, wealth, and social success. And by making her the center of his world, he will have done two things: (1) Lost his own center and path, and (2) put a huge burden on her to be the source of his happiness, fulfillment, and growth. Both those factors breed the aforementioned negative beliefs in addition to the girl feeling a growing urge to leave.

Everything in the universe is in a state of growth or withering. The secret to a great relationship is to keep it growing - growth of the bond and connection as well as the growth of THE PEOPLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP. Having this fundamental understanding makes the matter of ‘relationship game’ trivial. No more faking your way past her tests, no more using tactics to “keep her”. Those are things that immature boys trying to act like men do.

That said, a man makes time for his woman ON HIS TERMS. He’ll continue doing the things that make him grow and evolve. He’ll continue pursuing his dreams and passions. And he’ll continue to hold himself to a higher standard as well as surround himself with other people that hold him at that standard. Rather than her becoming the main theme of his journey, the woman joins him on this journey. And she’ll respect and love him for the man he is.

Cheyenne
Executive Coach
Lifestyle Transformations

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