I just had a very interesting meeting with a gorgeous and intelligent gentleman, however he had the worst attitude and mannerisms that I have ever witnessed in any social setting – and Lord knows that I have seen some horrific habits!
Being the curious and outspoken individual that I am – I deliberately steered the topic of discussion away from business and directed it towards his personal life. It turned out that he owned some very nice toys, a closet full of designer labels and a mansion in the British Properties, but he’d probably only been on three meaningful dates in his entire 32 years of existence! I couldn’t believe that a man with a face like THAT was unable to attract females of all sorts. My question to him was, “What do you think your problem is?” His answer: “I have no idea – maybe you could tell me.” Of course he thought I was flirting with him, until I happened to mention that I am a perception coach. This is when the light bulb finally went on in his head, and he caught on to the motives behind my questions. It had never occurred to him that his handshake, body posture, facial expressions, hand gestures and lack of eye contact were the cause of all his troubles with the female race.
Let me explain: Woman like to analyze men and the way in which they behave. It’s a favorite past time of ours – when we are not analyzing them consciously, we are doing it subconsciously. The reason why we work like this is because some inherent instinct tells us that the way a man behaves, what he does and how he acts is going to directly translate into the way he is going to treat us - be it on the first date or 5 years down the line.
Body Language Gentlemen! I cannot stress the importance of these two words enough: BODY LANGUAGE!
What you convey when you are not speaking, is more important than all the witty lines you try to spew out when you open your mouths. A lady wants to be taken on an adventure. We want every moment with you to appear meaningful and fun. That is why we develop crushes on the “bad boys,” they represent the notion that they will take us on a journey consisting of adventures and fun experiences.
Whether you tell us about what you had for breakfast or your latest endeavors to attempt skydiving we want to feel like you can sweep us off of our feet. We want to feel like your life is interesting, and if we jump in with you we will be in for the ride of our lives!
Nothing halts this process more than closed body language.
Your hands are one of the most expressive tools you have when it comes to inviting someone, subconsciously, into your fabulous life. Open gestures tend to make you appear open and honest. Used in moderation, hand gestures can make you seem enthusiastic and committed to your topic of discussion. Making too many gestures can make you appear nervous and uncontrolled. Wringing your hands, touching your sleeves, face etc. can make you appear tense, nervous and sometimes dishonest. So open up your hands and invite that lady into your life.
Facial expressions: Your face is the most expressive part of your body. If you are feeling anxious your facial expression may lead you to appear disapproving or disinterested. You can break this misconception by making an effort to smile. Your smile is one of the strongest tools you have when meeting new people. It will help you to appear warm, open, friendly, and confident.
One of the most powerful features on the human face is the eyes. They provide clues to our emotions and state of being. A direct stare implies intensity. It may also mean romantic interest, aggression or fear. Making very little eye contact can either convey shyness or submissiveness. The perfect balance between these two stares – the middle ground – will say that you are interested, secure and at ease.
Focus on your posture because the way you carry yourself makes a big contribution towards the rest of your body language and conveys your level of self-confidence. By orienting your body towards someone, you show attentiveness. By leaning away from them, or leaning back, you usually convey a lack of interest or some level of reserve.
The ultimate balance is a relaxed body posture helping you appear, and feel, more relaxed and confident.
Your posture gives signals about your interest in something or someone, your openness and attentiveness. It can even give clues to others about your status within a group.
So pull those shoulders back and hold that head high if you want to take that lady home tonight gents!
Lastly, but most importantly is your handshake! A firm, ‘look me in the eye’ handshake is the successful man’s number one go-to tool. My gorgeous man from above has failed with woman in the past because he has failed to break that all-important “body barrier” when first approaching a lady. His handshake has conveyed him as a submissive, confidence-lacking slouch that wouldn’t know what to eat for dinner if he was given only one choice!
Shake hands properly and the rest of your body language will flow and ooze with confidence. None of this really matters however if you cannot take your interactions to the next level – whatever they may be. You need to break that all-important “body barrier” as quickly as possible when you first meet someone. This entry is long however, so I’ll have more about his for you guys next time. Until then - stand tall, shake hands, smile and look everyone in the eyes.
Be the men that you were born to be!
xox
Heidi Naomi
Coach & Image Consultant
Lifestyle Transformations
Popularity: 29% [?]
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Thank you